To have every man but to love only one
To wake with the moon and sleep with the sun
To be a sinner, a saint, a lover, a friend
To know a beginning but never and end
To fly in the ocean and swim in the skies
Believer in truth, defendant of lies
To know the purest love, the deepest pain
To be lost and found again, and again, and again
These are the dreams of an Impossible Princess
To know the power of wealth and poverty
To taste every moment and try everything
TO be hailed a hero, branded a fool
Believe in the sacred and break evry rule
To give into pleasure with no boundaries
Living in chaos and harmony
To feel the touch of a man, a womans caress
To know the limit of torture and tenderness
These are the dreams of an Impossible Princess
It's a way of dealing with all the feeling keep believing in dreams
A funny conversation between Carol and I a week or 2 ago that I just found:
Carol: How about we go on a roadtrip?
Me: With what car?
Carol: We can rent one.
Me: Well, you have to be 21 or 25 or...20 something to rent one.
Carol: I look 20 something.
Me: But your ID doesn't say that.
Carol: ...My breasts do.
From last night, and two more from a friend of mine:
*The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
*A Bright Red Scream by Marilee Strong
*A Night In The Barracks by Alex Buchman
*Vampire Vow by Michael Schiefelbein
*Vampire Thrall by Michael Schiefelbein
*Full Body Contact by Greg Herren
*Dumped edited by B. Delores Max
*How Sex Changed by Joanne Meyerowitz
*The Secret Language of Symbols by David Fontana
*Buzzed (Some book about drugs)
Quite a few of those books are gay erotica, and others are psychology books or just...miscellaneous.
1) First grade teacher's name: Miss Ravas.
2) Last word you said: Jazz.
3) Last song you sang: "All That Jazz" from Chicago
4) Last person you hugged: Mi madre
5) Last thing you laughed at: IMs from random people on my cell
6) Last time you said 'I love you': Earlier tonight to Carol as she was getting offline to go to bed.
7) Last time you cried: Uh? Don't remember.
8) What's in your CD player: Britney Spears' "In The Zone (Import)"
9) What colour socks are you wearing: Uhm, air?
10) What's under your bed: The floor.
12) Current taste: Peanut butter sandwich.
13) Current hair: Fucked up.
14) Current clothes: Black Unicos
16) Current longing: I want sex.
17) Current desktop picture: A niiiiice beach.
18) Current worry: Homework.
19) Current hate: Weather.
20) Story behind your Live Journal: I wanted one, so I got one...but didn't use it for the first few months I had the account cos it was too plain. Besides, I had my xanga.
21) Current favourite article of clothing: Hmm, lemme go look.
Back. My favorite article of clothing is...my tees from the Army-Navy store.
22) Favourite physical feature of the opposite sex: Uhm?
23) Last CD that you bought: I don't recall.
24) Favourite place to be: The beach. ...Or Starbucks. ...Or the library. Wait, no! Barnes & Noble. It has books & Starbucks. :D
25) Least favourite place: Uhm... home. Sometimes.
26) Time you wake up in the morning: Uh? When I have school...5:30. ...Usually a little later. If I don't have to wake up, I normally wake up around 10 or 11.
27) If you could play an instrument, what would it be: Piano.
29) Do you believe in an afterlife: Yes and no?
31) Current favourite word/saying: Indeed. (Right Carol?)
32) Favourite book: Oh...wow. Uh, I don't know. Every book?
33) Favourite season: Summer. It's when I'm darkest. And happiest.
34) One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Eh...
35) Favourite day: Saturday. Beach during the day, fun at night. Late curfew. The whole day's free for whatever...ah, that's the life. :)
36) Where do you want to go: Far?
37) What is your career going to be like: It is what it is.
38) How many kids do you want: Zip, zilch, nada. I think?
39) What kind of car will you have: Who knows. Prolly a hoopty--as I always say.
40) Type a line you remember from any book: ...
41) A random lyric: "Open your eyes to the skies and the sun; I wonder if this day will be the one? Want you to hear my confession; you're my obsession; Do what you will do but I can't help the way I'm wantin' you..."
I was gonna update earlier, when things were still semi-fresh in my head, but then I took a nap and now I'm not recalling things quite as easily...so bare with me.
Yesterday, I stayed after school for literary club (not literary magazine--something totally different) and ended up taking BCt to get to the Imperial Point Branch library. While I was there, I talked to Kevin on my cell and he was talking about how he was trying to leave work early and shit and his managers weren't having it, but he was gonna try again. He said something that pissed me off as well, but I won't go into details. Sorry folksies, no quoting. :) Anyway...after I left the plaza where the library is, I took the bus home. Kevin picked me up at the Shell on 14th a lil' after that. We went to Starbucks, Boca Town Center and then drove around a bit more before he took me home. By the way: I was hanging out instead of doing my massive amounts of homework because I didn't have my keys. Yes, I was locked out. Woe is me.
So having left my keys, I got home around 9:30ish and stood outside for roughly 2 hours 'til my mom got home. I got inside and immediately got on the phone with Carol while I ate, since I was starving. I was on the phone with Carol 'til about 12:20 and then got off and started working on my notes. I stayed up until 4 in the morning copying page after page of notes and never did finish up the work. So on top of the couple of assignments I failed to finish from Thursday night's homework...I have things piling up that were assigned tonight as homework that's due Monday as well. Joy to the world.
To elaborate on last night: I was trying to copy the 6 pages of World History notes I'd missed earlier in the week into a spiral and listening to Power 96 waiting for my song to come on (eventually I gave in and requested it) and in between pages, I'd take a break to rest my hand. Needless to say, I wasn't concentrating as much as I should have been on my work. I was also thinking about situations at hand in my life right now. Social ones, I mean. So I was thinking about Jerry and shit like that. So basically...I came to a bit of a realization: he's told me it's not going to get serious, and with his reasoning (he's leaving soon for bootcamp) I can't fault him or be upset with him. It does bother me that a friend of mine is still trying to get me to hook something up, and it made me a lil' jealous when Jerry was telling me about this guy he'd talked to, but I told myself last night that I just had to let that shit go. We can be friends--and we are--and that's that. Whatever happens on the side happens. But I can't sit here and be all head over heals over him, ya know? It's for the best. And atleast this time, I made myself see that. Maybe I should mediate myself about some other guys as well?
Back to the update: I packed everything up and turned everything off around 3:45, brushed my teeth and washed my face and went and laid in bed, staring at the clock, 'til 4ish when I passed out. I dragged ass this morning to get ready and get out of the house and I surprisingly caught the bus. I pushed myself to stay awake in both World History and Comp Law, but since we had a substitute in Psychology, I took a nap. I talked with Casey during lunch about the night before and other things that have been bothering me, and then I went to Civics and fell asleep halfway through the class since all he did was lecture. I got home at 4 (we rode with 5031 again) and passed out on the couch almost immediately. I woke up at 6:30, stayed up 'til 7, and woke up again somewhere between 9:30 and 10.
It started raining today. There's this huge storm system moving in and it's not looking like this weekend is going to be very fun at the beach. I still gotta go though...to catch up with Steven and stuff. I hope my voice is better tomorrow cos I have a lot to tell him.
I've been reading Rainbow Boys by Alex Sanchez since about Tuesday and I'm almost done with it. I should be finishing it up tonight. I should be starting Whatever Happened to Dulce Veiga? tomorrow.
Going to be, once again, doing something quite shameful this weekend. Anyone who's been told about this definitely knows what I'm talking about...there's no need for me to go into any specifics. Talk about deep, dark secrets though. =\
I'm gonna go make a few calls and get to work on my homework. Later ya'll.
Oh, and PS...I've changed my mind [obviously]. Fuck Friends Only. I'll just do that for selected entries. It's too much work and stuff to have to go and switch alllllllll my old entries to FO entries. Yessum, I'ma lazy bitch. Fuck you.
This is a final [public] entry. If you actually do read this piece of shit but don't have a livejournal, or haven't added me yet...I suggest you comment on my next entry [or this one] and get to it.
Onto the update:
Jerry picked me up from school today cos we had somethin' important to do, but apparently it's gonna have to wait. Possibly 'til next week. We'll see, I guess. For those of you I've told, don't worry 'bout it.
And as for school: my mom and I left the house today at 6:45ish...I realized I didn't have the certificate stating I'd completed my traffic course, so I couldn't get my restricts today. Mervin had to be to work, so we drove out to Sawgrass, then my mom drove me to school and I walked around the hallways for the remainder of 1st block. I had to go to the office to get my schedule cos Coach Shamish wasn't in the classroom to give me mine and found out that my 2nd block is right next door to Coach Shamish's room. So both 1st and 2nd blocks are downstairs in the main building in the middle hallway. Psychology is upstairs in the first hallway--the one closest to the patio...and 4th is in a portable which is part of the semicircle that surround the bus loop. Comprehensive Law went relatively well, aside from the fact that I didn't know what the hell half of the goddamn court/law/trial terms they were using were. Psychology went by pretty fast--I have C lunch now. And Civics was the only class that seemed long and drawn out. I think I have SSRW in every single class on Tuesdays. Oh Jesus. With my new schedule, I have to go to my locker first thing in the morning and get things for World History and Comprehensive Law. Then I'll go upstairs and get my shit for Psychology. Afterwards, I'll get my things together. Whatever I need for homework in my other classes and whatever I need for Civics will go with me to lunch. Anything I take with me for Civics will be going home with me everyday because I can't run from a portable, back to the main building, and back out to the buses and expect to get there and catch my bus. Oh well. With these new classes, the day seems to go by much quicker. Could be the fact that I have 3rd block straight through and then lunch. Who knows. We'll see if I still feel as if the day is going by quick when I have to sit through one more class tomorrow. I heard Shamish makes you take notes upon notes upon notes. Joy.
So did I mention that AJ and Jerry know each other? If I didn't, I should have. There was drama tonight--none of which I'll be getting into in this entry though.
Also, I felt the need to ask Jerry the question he asked me earlier last week--about the issue of seriousness between us. He said last week that he wasn't particularly looking for an attachment since he's leaving for bootcamp soon and such. So I'm like, hey whatever. Friendship is good enough for me. He's a cool guy and all, so it's not a total loss, ya know? *raises eyebrows* So we talked about it again tonight, he said basically the same thing, and that having been said...I just told him that I want him to lemme know if I'm crossing any lines or anything of that nature, ya know? Eh, as I said before...c'est la vie.
I started reading Rainbow Boys by Alex Sanchez today. I'm on page 55 right now and have got to keep myself from reading anymore tonight because I have shit to do. Speaking of which...I should probably do another list since I'm thinking about "to-dos":
-Comprehensive Law homework
*Read over 3 cases and write arguments for each side of each case
*Get syllabus signed
*Write response essay for SSRW--writing prompt #1
*Get 1 1/2" binder for class; 8 tab dividers
-Buy a new agenda book (with these new classes, I'm definitely gonna need it)
-Read over Florida traffic law book to be prepared for Learner's License test
-Clean my room
-Clean up the goddamned house
There's more, but I'm lazy. I have to get to my homework, afterall.
More tomorrow. A brand new look and allll that shit. :D
Ok, quick update!
I totally forgot about my appointment tomorrow morning to get my permit. We're leaving the house at 6am. Joy.
My mom did not get a rental car, so Mervin is our transportation tomorrow morning and she's gonna have to find a ride home from work. =\ Ugh, money problems are stupid. Money sucks.
Jerry's picking me up from school tomorrow. :giggles: lol =) We've got somethin' important to do, and I'm not sure if we're gonna hang out more afterwards or not. Guess we'll see. He's starting to get sick from me. =\ Oops... I feel bad! :(
I'm in the process of changing my livejournal around, so gimme a break while it's lookin' kinda fawked up. It should be back in order tomorrow.
Hm, what else? Er...oh hell, I don't know.
PSMy mood is 'hot' because my air conditioner is on the fritz. Again.
I didn't go to school today cos I wasn't even feeling well enough to get out of my bed this morning. I managed to stumble into mama's room and grab the box of tissues and stumble back to my bed with them, blow my nose, and pass back out. She walked into my room as I laid back down and said I should go back to sleep and she'd call in my absence. I was pissed cos I missed the first day of new classes, but at the same time, I was happy.
Kevin came and picked me up around 1:30, we went to the Verizon store and then chilled at Pompano Beach for a lil' bit. On the way back to my house, we got stopped by a red light and we were right next to a bus stop. There was a guy with a ratty mullet and a woman sitting on the bench at the stop. The guy was rambling (Kevin pointed out his lack of teeth) and she was nodding and plucking hairs from her chin. He pulled a brush out and attempted to brush his hair and she licked her mirror to clean it off. :gag: Gotta love South Florida, eh?
The rest of my day's been boring. I've been online for a majority of it. My mom's car broke down...something about the alternator. ...Whatever that is. So we're gonna be using a rental car for about the next week or so.
I caught up with Xtina today and talked to Carol for a bit as well. I'm also catching up with people online (friends from Ohio, mainly). I kept saying I was gonna clean my room but...no. Oh, but I did find the $130 I misplaced earlier last week. Yay!! :)
And finally: if a friend of yours started showing interest in the guy you like, what would you do? There's more to the situation but eh.
PSI'm starting to grow my hair out. We'll see how long this lasts. Anyone have any ideas as to how to make my hair grow faster?